Life is a Highway

While driving I often think of things I want to write about in my journals.. and then by the time I sit down.. I don't remember what they were.. they are usually pretty profound thoughts... Things you don't normally think about... and I guess my mind isn't what it used to be... I was cleaning the house today.. wanted to do a lot.. get a lot done.. and I thought what's the point.. ya know? Does it really matter? No.. That's probably why I haven't gotten my car all clean yet.. who really cares.. Here lately I've been in some bad moods.. not caring about the slightest things.. cept for Har of course... It just seems I'm alone in the world.. ya know? Since I was born.. I've never slept in a room by myself.. NEVER.. I'll soon be doing that.. and that sorta freaks me out.. I guess there's a time for everything... But at the age of 28 (soon to be if anyone cares lol) I didn't think I'd ever have to do that... *sigh* I guess it's time for me to grow up... When Harley was born the first thing I thought was.. I'll never have to be alone now.. but one day he'll have a family of his own.. and a life.. like I do now.. and not be able to protect me from the aloness (is that a word?) that I've escaped all these years.. I'm assuming that it's probably best that I learn to be alone now.. than when I get to be an old woman.. I can at least fight back now... then I may be so frail that I'll give in.. fear can take over your life if you allow it.. I've allowed it.. My sister tells me I should go to the Dr. to get a prescription to maybe alleviate some of the anxiety I have when I'm alone... I don't want to cover up my fear.. I want to conquer it.. I should have done that a long time ago.. but now I'm being forced to.. I can't put that off much longer can I? Sometimes life has a way of making you do the things you've run from.. put off.. just plain refused to do.. and now is one of those times for me.. I'm assuming LOL... Pi.. on it I say... lol

loveyabye

Stupid is as Stupid does

You know my mama should've said that.. cause I'm the stupidest person I know.. Man sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I was thinking.. but whatever it was it wasn't what I shoulda been thinking.. I shoulda been thinking something totally different.. and I never think that... I'm so dumb.. I don't ever use my brain.. I allways go with my heart.. and that's the dumbest thing you can do ..Now I got this freakin' stalker dude messaging me.. ROFL.. and I've lost my train of thought on How dumb I am... see how freaking stupid I can be? I need to go drive around and listen to hard heavy angry music.. lol.. Not that I'm angry.. It just makes me feel good.. Nah.. now I'm angry.. rofl.... Lord.. sometimes I wonder if I should even be here.. on this earth.. I have a soon to be ex husband *crosses fingers* who's gone to such great lengths to take the adhoration (is that even a freaking word?) Of my baby boy.. .......... <~~ represents a sentence I cannot even type here.. cause I wouldn't want someone to read it and be hurt... Then I have this psycho psychic wannabe who tells me I need to call my grandma.. trying to get me to think she's dying.. a psycho who talks on the phone to dead air... who's old enough to be my dad.. but acts way more immature than my 6 y/o Son... Then my new job.. the freaking people there don't do nothing but gripe constantly... Why am I even here? I try to have a positive attitude most of the time.. I say hello to people that most people forget.. I worry about others... I'm so stressed LOL... OH and let's not forget the fact that I had to dye my hair 3 times yesterday morning and it's still not right.... It's like 3 different colors.. and I'm freaking out of money.. and afraid to dye it again because it will probablly fall out.. and so now I'm stuck wearing it up in a ponytail for god knows how long and it's getting cold... Now I'm super pissed... Please for the love of all that is holy.. leave me alone.. quit calling me.. messaging me.. emailing me.. thinking of me.. looking at me... ARRGGHH How many times do I have to tell you psycho? I don't want you anywhere near me.. just stop...

don'tloveyouanymorebye