Well good for you

Praise is so funny

"Well there's A and O and then there's three way" Totally OMG

lol

Sometimes I have this dream where I am with this dude .. I can never remember his face... wether or not I actually see it in the dream I don't know but during the dream I feel this rush that I've never experienced in my waking hours before...

Like an adrenaline rush of some type but not really. I always wake up with this same feeling and sometimes I have chest pains for days afterwards.

This dude is so gentle. He makes me feel like passing out by just passing by me. I'm so extremely euphoric and then I wake up.. and for a minute or so I still feel that feeling until reality sets in and I realize I'm dreaming..

and then I'm desperate to go back to sleep.

The dream isn't always the same. We are in different places and we do different things...

Like the earliest one I remember was where we were in this house that was ours I'm assuming and our bedroom was in this room that had open spaces in the walls that you could see outside.. like big picture windows without the glass and doors on each side without any doors. There were shear curtains hanging up but the warm wind blew them open and you could see the ocean and palm trees. The bed was white and had big fluffy pillows and a big fluffy comforter. Everything was white.... except for the wood. We were having breakfast in bed and talking about everyday stuff and he got up (I remember looking at his white boxers) and he walked out the door... I went to follow him out onto the beach and watch the sun come up... and he was gone.. I woke up while I was trying to find him...

Another one we were walking down the streets of a city that looked like what NY looks like on TV. Or maybe Miami. I had on a black dress with really cute black heels.. My hair was straight and I could feel the breeze blow my dress.. the sound of my shoes clonking on the pavement. He was dressed in a suit with a red vest... His shoes were so shiny... I can remember thinking he looked and smelled so good that there could not be one speck of dirt on him anywhere. We were going to see a play or concert or something because I remember feeling really fancy and high falootin.. (East TN word) We got our seats and when the curtains came up I woke up...

Each dream I have I wake up missing him...

Is it my mind is trying to fulfil wants and needs of my waking life into my dreams? Am I trying so hard to feel loved that my mind makes up for the lack of attention I need during the day at night? Is my idea of love not quite met during my waking hours and has to be compensated during my sleep time?

Or is it something else entirely?

Each time I wake up from one of these dreams I feel like I've gone through a divorce/breakup. So not only am I feeling that desperate need feeling but also a sad seperation feeling....

I'm just nuts I guess...

reminds me of that movie with Demi Moore.. she couldn't determine which of her lives were real and which was just a movie. In one life she had children and in another she was single.. I won't ruin it for you but the ending is so sad... and I know how she felt..

*Loveyabye*