I found your memory today

I was cleaning out some junk.. and found your book. Baby I'm so sorry for not wanting you... I never knew your name.. or even saw your face.. I didn't love you until it was to late.. I'm sorry... sorry doesn't quite cover what I did to you.. All you wanted was to live.. and to breathe.. sometimes I can feel your little body in my arms.. How you would have had a wonder for life.. you would just now be walking and talking.. just over a year old.. little shoes.. little clothes.. I don't even know if you were a boy or a girl.. you...... were just like me.. unwanted.. I'm so sorry.. How could I? I didn't deserve to even have you as long as I did.. you should have left me... I was supposed to protect you wasn't I? I don't know if you forgive me.. but I will never forgive myself.. I cry over you a lot.. when I'm in my car.. all alone.. and when I'm dreaming sometimes I think I see you... I'm a horrible person for what I've done to you.. you would have loved me regardless of anything I did or said.. unconditionally... unlike the other people in my life.. you wouldn't have judged me.. you would have just loved.. I wish I could have loved you sooner.. it would have made my heart a little less heavy.. and little less hurt.. and your life.. and little less gone.....